The other day I was explaining to a friend the meaning of the English idiom, "I know it by heart". As I tried to represent it's meaning, I pointed to my head as I said "it's when you know something so well that you have it memorized". My friend responded, "wait, so you know it in your heart or mind?". Then I laughed.
The phrase is used in the context of having something committed to memory- in your brain. However, the irony is that we're referring to our "heart" which is supposed to correspond with our feelings, emotions, and intuition.
This of course made me think. We always hear the phrase, "follow your heart". In this phrase, the significance could mean to put aside practical measures such as finances, convenience and efficiency for the grander cause of listening to your feelings, dreams, and passions.
So then what would we be aiming for if we are: 1) knowing our heart; 2) following our heart; 3)knowing ourselves by heart.
1) Knowing our heart must imply that we have spent much time in reflection, hurt, healing, stillness, and exploration. Our core. It is the "gushy stuff" inside that we want to run from but we walk back instead. We walk back towards our past---what made us feel happy, sad, anxious, alive, depressed. In the context of building up our physical "core" we are strengthening our abdominals and oblique muscles in order to support our spine and the rest of our body. When we attempt to strengthen our emotional "core" we are getting to know our heart. Feeling the pain. Feeling the joy. Working through it- allowing ourselves to be comfortable in those not so comfortable places. We are exploring the corners that have been left in the dark and invaded by cobwebs. We leave an enlightened candle in each dark corner, empowered that we have discovered another part of our heart.
2) Following our heart must happen as a result of knowing our heart. More than just responding spontaneously to a fleeting feeling telling us to go one way or another, following your heart is an inclination that arises as a result of knowing yourself so well that you trust yourself. You trust your heart. You trust what your heart is telling you and you shamelessly and fearlessly surrender to those intuitions. I'm not sure if the "fearless" part is really possible. Yet, if we are willing to be vulnerable with ourselves we are able to take risks without fear. We know what our heart is asking us because of all of the exploration and reflection we have done. We listen to the spiritual and emotional waves flowing over our body and we trust what will lead us to joy and happiness. We feel the jabs of fear and hurt and we trust our heart is telling us to build a wall of protection. Our heart becomes our compass- we walk our thoughts and emotions towards what is nourishing and good for us.
3) And then we know ourselves by heart. This is the tough one. Can it ever be achieved in full? It is a constant and progressive challenge that must occur circuitously. Reading the energy in our body. Reading what we are feeling in a moment and identifying what our heart and mind is telling us. Our mind has to be brought in this equation. If we know ourselves by heart, we have in fact established correspondence between emotions and thoughts. We have recorded these truths in our minds. We know ourselves. We know what makes us calm, anxious, jealous, sensual, joyful, excited, scared. Not only are we able to identify these emotional winds blowing throughout our body, but we can remember how to respond to them. Our brain tells us we know our hearts. And we are empowered by this great accomplishment. I believe with this reality, we experience harmony. Harmony with ourselves. Harmony that not only are we comfortable trusting our heart, but we also have the tools and strategies to navigate through unexpected emotional storms ravishing through our body. We know ourselves by heart. And we can feel tranquility.
I am so blessed to feel harmony with myself.
To know my vulnerable and fragile heart.
To feel its sustaining and powerful energy.
Giving it the attention it deserves.
Its past, present, and future.
I know it.
I will follow it.
By Heart.