How do we respond to tragedy that seems so evil? In paradoxes. Anger and peace, resentment and kindness, actively trying to understand and passively accepting we never will.
Working in an Elementary School has enabled me to experience the reactions of colleagues, administrators, parents, and students. The tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School has impacted us all. We have all cried as we watched the news- thinking of our own students and children. We have all been paralyzed by fear when we hear "lockdown" on the PA system, even as a routine drill. We have been brave when our students ask us with fear in their eyes about gunmen. We have been smart and logical by assessing our school security. We have been complacent in accepting we can only do so much. Most importantly, we have been resilient. We have a new found understanding of just how important it is for every child to feel unconditionally loved. Time and time again we hear on the news that those who open fire on campuses or public places are victims of bullying, loneliness, and low self-esteem. Many times the perpetrator has a disability that hinders him/her from having social relationships with others or academic success. They do not feel love, joy, and success.
We can feel extremely angry about it and want to seek revenge on whoever perpetrated this event. But when we are in our own safe environment, we feel peace and gratitude that our loved ones have not been affected by this tragedy. We can try our hardest to understand why someone would do this..after all, it is our duty to try to assess the broader sociological problem that is creating these scenarios of evil and violence. Yet, likewise it is also our obligation to show up to work everyday and try to "forget about it". We can redesign our school security systems, yet we know that a person's will to create havoc can't be stopped by anything. We can feel hatred towards whoever murdered innocent children. Or we can fill our hearts with kindness towards every single person we meet. Our reactions to such a tragic event are undeniably paradoxical. Sometimes all our emotions and thoughts can be overwhelming.
The scary thought is that none of us have the ability to know someone's deepest darkest thoughts. We do not know if the isolated and belligerent student at school is having suicidal thoughts. We do not know if the rude and angry employee at our grocery store is planning a violent attack. We have to prevent anyone from having such thoughts by being outwardly kind to EVERYONE. One act of kindness can affect numbers of people- even by being a witness to it.
A couple weeks ago I was at a concert and heard the Alternate Routes perform a song called, "Nothing More". The lead singer talked about the meaning of the song before the band played it. The song was created in response to an effort to support the non-profit organization, Newtown Kindness. It brought tears to my eyes as I heard the song. The song itself expresses the same sort of paradox of emotions as I described above. It starts off melancholy and dark, and turns upbeat and light. I felt a sense of autonomy as I listened to the lyrics. We can change the world by how we act everyday. We can all be heroes.
Here are the lyrics below. Listen to the song, "Nothing More" by the Alternate Routes and hum along...cry if you feel like you need to. But don't be afraid to tap your feet...and even smile. We can turn our fears into bravery... our anger into kindness..our love into action.
http://open.spotify.com/track/0mD8Oey9zR0TR8XyiOx3NO
To be humble, to be kind
It is a giving of the peace in your mind
To a stranger, to a friend
To give in such a way that has no end
We are love, we are one,
We are how we treat each other when the day is done
We are peace, we are war
We are how we treat each other and nothing more
To be bold, to be brave
It is the thinking that the heart can still be saved
And the darkness can't come quick
The dangers in the anger and the hanging onto it
We are love, we are one,
We are how we treat each other when the day is done
We are peace, we are war
We are how we treat each other and nothing more
Tell me what it is that you should see
A world that's full of endless possibilities
Heroes don't look like they used to..
They look like you do.
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Saturday, November 30, 2013
Less is more
Sometimes when we don't have everything we want, we feel like we have nothing. Every therapist out there would probably acknowledge that how we view what we have determines our happiness. "Looking at the glass half full or empty" has the power to affect our everyday lives. But sometimes a situation is what it is, and sometimes that situation is a struggle. I happen to think the more struggles we have to go through, the happier we become. Maybe the less we have to be happy about, the more we will appreciate life. In turn creating true joy.
We've all heard the sarcastic phrase...FWP- First World Problems. I don't think that is fair. "First World Problems" include health, financial, and emotional problems that are real. As I get older the more and more I realize that everyone has these problems, to different extents but still everyone has them. So how do we handle these problems? FWA- First World Answers. We medicate. We don't want to deal with any pain so we do everything we can to force whatever we are dealing with out of our conscious and subconscious thoughts. Maybe there is a better way to deal with FWP.
I was in the doctor's office the other day. It was the day before Thanksgiving and I was feeling really annoyed that I had to even go to the doctor. I held the door for a young man in a wheel chair behind me. We ended up taking the elevator together, and then walking into the same doctor's office. I was in a bad mood and not really interested in making a friend...but this man has made a lasting impression on me and he probably won't ever know it. Now, before I continue let me provide this disclaimer- this was my 4th doctors' visit in a month's time so I believe I had the right to be annoyed that I found myself still sick in the same doctor's office yet again.
Anyways, as I'm sitting there looking over my phone, and waiting to be seen by the doctor, I heard this man in a wheelchair cheerfully talking to the receptionist. He knew the receptionist....clearly, he had been visiting the doctor more than I had. After hearing him talk to her for about a minute I became intrigued with him. While I was pretending to look at my phone, I was focusing on what he was saying to the receptionist- "God will provide...I'll be OK". He then went on to tell her about a conference he was just recently at. He told a story--- the theme of the conference he was at was "Everything happens for a reason...God will provide...". a woman stood up at the conference and said she had cancer, she was struggling financially, and was going through much more. The woman questioned how God was supposedly providing for her. The speaker answered her saying, "I know what you are going through is really hard....and sometimes it feels like you can't get through. But you're treading in deep water. Sometimes you have to swim in deep water for a while until you get your answers." The man in the wheelchair said, obviously I know what that's like.
Sometimes it takes a while to get answers.... and that's okay.
So what do you do until then? Believe that there is a purpose for everything. Keep your head up. Acknowledge the situation you are in. Believe there is a God who will provide for you...somehow, someway, at sometime.
We've all heard the sarcastic phrase...FWP- First World Problems. I don't think that is fair. "First World Problems" include health, financial, and emotional problems that are real. As I get older the more and more I realize that everyone has these problems, to different extents but still everyone has them. So how do we handle these problems? FWA- First World Answers. We medicate. We don't want to deal with any pain so we do everything we can to force whatever we are dealing with out of our conscious and subconscious thoughts. Maybe there is a better way to deal with FWP.
I was in the doctor's office the other day. It was the day before Thanksgiving and I was feeling really annoyed that I had to even go to the doctor. I held the door for a young man in a wheel chair behind me. We ended up taking the elevator together, and then walking into the same doctor's office. I was in a bad mood and not really interested in making a friend...but this man has made a lasting impression on me and he probably won't ever know it. Now, before I continue let me provide this disclaimer- this was my 4th doctors' visit in a month's time so I believe I had the right to be annoyed that I found myself still sick in the same doctor's office yet again.
Anyways, as I'm sitting there looking over my phone, and waiting to be seen by the doctor, I heard this man in a wheelchair cheerfully talking to the receptionist. He knew the receptionist....clearly, he had been visiting the doctor more than I had. After hearing him talk to her for about a minute I became intrigued with him. While I was pretending to look at my phone, I was focusing on what he was saying to the receptionist- "God will provide...I'll be OK". He then went on to tell her about a conference he was just recently at. He told a story--- the theme of the conference he was at was "Everything happens for a reason...God will provide...". a woman stood up at the conference and said she had cancer, she was struggling financially, and was going through much more. The woman questioned how God was supposedly providing for her. The speaker answered her saying, "I know what you are going through is really hard....and sometimes it feels like you can't get through. But you're treading in deep water. Sometimes you have to swim in deep water for a while until you get your answers." The man in the wheelchair said, obviously I know what that's like.
Sometimes it takes a while to get answers.... and that's okay.
So what do you do until then? Believe that there is a purpose for everything. Keep your head up. Acknowledge the situation you are in. Believe there is a God who will provide for you...somehow, someway, at sometime.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Foux-liage
That feeling of needing change...craving novelty..and churning hopes and dreams for the future. A feeling of displacement. Like something doesn't fit right now, but something good is on the horizon. Sometimes it is just downright difficult to live in the moment. While this blog was created as a means of documenting my Italy trip, I think it's meant to be continued. Perhaps the dissection of the little moments of life can happen in a more monotonous and routine way of life. And hopefully you can share in my search to find complete fulfillment by living in the MOMENT. Even when sometimes the moments we are experiencing are less than mediocre...or so they may seem.
People say it all the time..."think positive. It's how you VIEW life. Do you view life as the glass half full or half empty"? I am a big believer in the power of perspective, as many people are. Yet, I also believe in calling a spade a spade. Take fall foliage for example. Foux-liage. The leaves are dying... (glass half empty), but they are undergoing a beautiful change that their spectators are able to enjoy before the dreary winter months. The analogy of Fall as a season of change is not a novel idea. But as I was driving through the beautiful mountains of Pennsylvania a few weeks ago and looking at the gorgeous fall colors, I couldn't help but thinking that if these trees could have thoughts they would be less than pleasant I'm sure. What would they be thinking as they feel their leaves shriveling up..knowing their beautiful ornaments are destined to lose their home on a branch and fall to the ground. Only to leave this tree bare and ugly. This might seem pessimistic and it also might seem slightly crazy that I would even be personifying trees and leaves. But the only reason why we are able to "ooo and ahh" and these beautiful fall leaves is because we know the bigger picture. We know that leaves changing colors and dying is part of the cyclical life cycle of a plant. We know that new leaves will grow on the tree again in the Spring.
The feeling of change is quite uncomfortable. I think it's because we aren't able to see the larger picture. We have no idea what our future will hold. We don't even know what will happen a minute from now let alone years from now. We feel ourselves growing and changing, our leaves changing colors, and we don't know what's coming. Yet, I think we need to embrace the change because let's face it- trying to defy nature has a bleak success rate. A tree may feel sad during this period of change, and let's be real it would probably freak out if it didn't know Spring was to come. People are taking pictures of its beautiful leaves, admiring the beauty of the colors, enjoying the crunching sound of them on the ground, or jumping in piles of them. Yet this tree's leaves are dying and will forever decompose into eternity! Foux-liage at its finest.
The fall season is a good reminder to handle change with the perspective of a human enjoying the change of seasons, rather than a tree experiencing its leaves dying. What you are going through during a period of change is part of the season of life. More good is on the way. Live in the moment...love each exciting, confusing, shattering change that happens in your life.Let what needs to go fall to the ground and make way for beautiful new sprouts to come down the road.
People say it all the time..."think positive. It's how you VIEW life. Do you view life as the glass half full or half empty"? I am a big believer in the power of perspective, as many people are. Yet, I also believe in calling a spade a spade. Take fall foliage for example. Foux-liage. The leaves are dying... (glass half empty), but they are undergoing a beautiful change that their spectators are able to enjoy before the dreary winter months. The analogy of Fall as a season of change is not a novel idea. But as I was driving through the beautiful mountains of Pennsylvania a few weeks ago and looking at the gorgeous fall colors, I couldn't help but thinking that if these trees could have thoughts they would be less than pleasant I'm sure. What would they be thinking as they feel their leaves shriveling up..knowing their beautiful ornaments are destined to lose their home on a branch and fall to the ground. Only to leave this tree bare and ugly. This might seem pessimistic and it also might seem slightly crazy that I would even be personifying trees and leaves. But the only reason why we are able to "ooo and ahh" and these beautiful fall leaves is because we know the bigger picture. We know that leaves changing colors and dying is part of the cyclical life cycle of a plant. We know that new leaves will grow on the tree again in the Spring.
The feeling of change is quite uncomfortable. I think it's because we aren't able to see the larger picture. We have no idea what our future will hold. We don't even know what will happen a minute from now let alone years from now. We feel ourselves growing and changing, our leaves changing colors, and we don't know what's coming. Yet, I think we need to embrace the change because let's face it- trying to defy nature has a bleak success rate. A tree may feel sad during this period of change, and let's be real it would probably freak out if it didn't know Spring was to come. People are taking pictures of its beautiful leaves, admiring the beauty of the colors, enjoying the crunching sound of them on the ground, or jumping in piles of them. Yet this tree's leaves are dying and will forever decompose into eternity! Foux-liage at its finest.
The fall season is a good reminder to handle change with the perspective of a human enjoying the change of seasons, rather than a tree experiencing its leaves dying. What you are going through during a period of change is part of the season of life. More good is on the way. Live in the moment...love each exciting, confusing, shattering change that happens in your life.Let what needs to go fall to the ground and make way for beautiful new sprouts to come down the road.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Ciao for Now
This is a difficult post to write. It is about 8:30 in the morning here, and
Lisa and I are on a train returning to Rome.
We have one last night in Italy tonight, and tomorrow morning we fly out
of Rome to New York.
Before our trip, I had a preconceived notion that during our
time in Italy we would speak Italian every day, eat really well, make friends,
drink lots of wine, hang out by the beach, and have fun stories to tell. That happened. And more..
Tomorrow we are leaving Italy differently than when we
arrived on August 4th. We are leaving
Italy with a few extra pounds on our stomachs, new/revived friendships, good tans, and as cliché as it sounds…we’re
leaving with memories to last a lifetime. We also are leaving some things here. Our money…yeah, that’s gone. Lisa lost a ring
in the Adriatic, so that’s also staying here.
As for intangible things- we are leaving here countless moments of total
relaxation, tranquility, satisfaction and contentment with life. We can try to bring some of that back….but
according to me, it’s impossible.
For me, this trip has been a very refreshing and necessary
dosage of “life”. It’s easy to get
caught up with the monotony of the everyday routines and drudgery, as it is for
everyone. Most times a vacation is only
a week and for the first few days it is spent unwinding and the last few days
spent dreading returning to “reality”.
We’ve been fortunate enough to have a long enough vacation that we felt
totally immersed here. In fact, at one point Lisa turned to me and said,
“doesn’t it feel like we live here?”. We
became familiar with the people/towns/bars/cafes/piazzas in the places we
stayed.
The other day someone asked me what my favorite part of the
trip was. It’s impossible for me to pick
out one moment. But I will say that for
me, my favorite moments were spent by the sea.
The Ionian and Adriatic Seas are the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever
experienced. Not only do these beaches
have crystal clear water, dry air, and a soft breeze. They also are full of wonderful people and
families and surrounded by incredible restaurants and bars with the best food
I’ve eaten in my life. These beaches are
also located in towns that have incredibly rich history. Many of the small towns in Puglia (in
Salento) are composed of white stone buildings that originated from several
hundred years ago. Today we were in
Taranto, which is a city that is both Greek/Italian. In Salento there are many towns/cities that
have been influenced by Greece and as a result have Greek architecture, food,
and even the Greek language.
I’ve always loved that while in Italy, you are constantly
reminded of your place in the history of the world. I think it’s an important part of being human
to understand yourself in relationship with the evolution of civilizations and
cultures. While in Italy, and Croatia,
we were constantly reminded of the history of these countries by stories we
heard, buildings we saw, and streets we walked down.
I’m taking a deep breath in and exhaling a sigh as I look
out the windows on this train and say “arrivederci” to the beautiful country
landscapes of this country. In the towns
that we stayed in, the natural beauty of the beaches and towns were not
compromised by the restaurants/bars/festivals.
The settlement of people in these towns is less abrasive than it looks
in NJ/NY. During the summer months in
the south of Italy, there are many festivals honoring the patron saints of the
towns. There are lots of decorative
lights, vendors, and tourist attractions such as wine tasting and special
restaurant menus. But to me, it seems
like there is a harmony between the people, the city, and nature. This is because there is a sense of
relaxation and appreciation of family and company. For example, in Lecce there are always people
walking around the city- through the early morning hours. It is typical to see families walking around
the town around 11-12 at night. It’s
common to see a family at a restaurant for 2-3 hours eating dinner or lunch. It’s common to see kids playing in the
piazzas or on the beach .Then again, I also realize that these observations are
from afar and I have no idea what goes on in their own homes. I
haven’t seen one kid playing on an ipad/ipod and I haven’t seen one large TV in
my time in Italy. I guess people seem to
enjoy spending time with each other more.
If I saw a large TV, it was in a bar to play a soccer game…that’s it
though. I have to say that although I
really appreciate technology, it was refreshing getting a little break from the
imposing presence of technology near NY/NJ.
I understand this is not just an Italian thing, and I really
appreciate going to different states in the USA that are similar. Don’t get me wrong, I love NYC and I
absolutely love living in Hoboken.
However, it was a refreshing experience witnessing such a natural and
relaxed way of life here.
So, the concluding mantra for this blog and this trip is
APPRECIATION OF LIFE..la bella vita.
Taking one day at a time. One
moment at a time…. Not worrying so much about what you are SUPPOSED to do. Rather, reaching out at the quickly passing
moments of tranquility and contentment and holding onto them tightly. Seeing where life takes you…and not freaking
out if everything isn’t perfect. We
uttered the phrases “what’s happening?”,
“che cazzo” and “I don’t understand what’s going on….” multiple times a
day. Yet, the sensation of not knowing
what was to come made each experience so unique and fun. At certain times, this feeling was overwhelming….
Like when we were at a concert in Lecce with 150,000 people and a
medical/security staff that had no idea what the hell what was going on. Total
chaos. Overall though, it has been
incredibly liberating to just “go with the flow”. We called this.. “survival mode”. If either Lisa and I were alone we probably
would have lost our minds halfway through the trip. #PMT.
So, on the note of seeing what the future lies ahead and
taking one moment at a time…
A presto, Italia. See
you soon.
Alla prossimo. Until
next time.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Farewell Croatia....Hello again, Italy!
Hello again!
I am writing this blog post on about 3 hours of sleep so please excuse any typos or grammatical mistakes! Lisa and I said our goodbyes to Dubrovnik last night. We spent our last few hours in Dubrovnik on the beach. During that time, I looked out on the water
and captured a mental image of the beautiful water and mountains I was
seeing. A song came on my Ipod called
“Be Still” by The Killers. These lyrics I think defined our time in Croatia.. "And life is short to say the least, We're in the belly of the beast..Be still, wild and young, long may your innocence reign, like shells on the shore". The belly of the beast, of course, is us realizing that we are running out of money. Yet, we are letting our innocence (roaring 20s) be our motivation to enjoy every moment! We've had an incredible time "being still"....relaxing on the beach, enjoying the beautiful water, and exploring Dubrovnik nightlife.
The other day we had an awesome experience of
walking the city walls of Old Town. We
looked out on the town, and towards the horizon of the Adriatic, and the view
actually took my breath away. We were
awestruck by the view so much so that we lost track of time. We looked at the time and saw that we only
had 15 minutes until our kayaking excursion was going to begin. We looked ahead at the perimeter of the city
walls ahead of us and knew that the only way we were going to make this
kayaking trip on time is if we walked like New Yorkers. So, we power walked through the rest of the
way around the city. We stopped to get
some pictures- (see below).
We were happy we made it in time for our kayaking excursion because it was AMAZING! It was a sunset tour...3 hours long. Our arms are very sore. The views while kayaking in the water were unreal. We didn't have our cameras with us because we were afraid they would get wet, so we just had to soak in the moment. I did take a couple pictures that you will see below. All the other moments, including a beautiful sunset over the Adriatic, are captured in our memory.
We rested up this past week, although it doesn't feel like it now. We
slept in chairs on the ferry last night...it was a 10 hour ride. Finally we are
back in Italy now. It feels great to be back!!! We will be in staying back in Puglia with our friends for a few nights. It's hard to believe that we are reaching the last leg of our trip....we are very sad and in denial about this!!
I'm sure I will have some fun stories to post about our next few days in Italy...we are going to another Tarantella concert tonight. Talk to you soon! Ciao!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Forever Young in Croatia
I’m on our balcony hearing the subtle sound of the Adriatic’s
calm and gentle waves…there is a cool breeze coming from the sea- but I feel
comfortable as I sit on my balcony in my summer pjs. The light of tonight’s full moon is
reflecting off the slowly moving water, creating an amber glow. I hear a live band playing across the lake- a
mixture of Johnny Cash and other retro country/rock songs. The sound of the harmonica, drums, guitar,
and base create the perfect soundtrack for this blog post….perfection. Even though I’m exhausted, I am deciding to
have a Croatian beer (Ozujsko) to complete my sensory experience of this
moment.
Taking. It. All. In..
Taking. It. All. In..
Croatia has been absolutely wonderful so far. The city of Dubrovnik is along the Adriatic
coast- across from Italy. Old Town
Dubrovnik is a medieval city that is surrounded by city gates. Whatever I pictured a medieval castle and
city to look like…this is that, and so much more. It took 100 years for this city to be built-
and a lot of slaves’ sweat and blood went into constructing it. Yet it still stands today and looks as
beautiful as ever. The white stone is
polished during tourist season to make it look extra picturesque. The city
looks whimsical, as it’s constructed of baroque style architecture and
surrounded by mountains.
Having the
opportunity to travel to a new country is a blessing I do not take for
granted. The feeling I’m experiencing in
Croatia is much different than Italy.
Things are very peaceful and organized here. Maybe it is because we are staying in a
hotel, or maybe it is because of the way Dubrovnik is run as a tourist attraction. It’s allowing me to enjoy every moment and
feel 100% relaxed.
I can’t help but feel a wave of melancholy come over me as I
realize that this is only a fleeting moment. The slow harmonica is totally
working with my mood right now. Just the
same way everyone feels towards the end of the summer. You so badly want to reach out your hand and
grasp a moment to keep in your pocket as a souvenir. But it’s impossible… the only thing that
there is to do is soak in every sensation of the moment and place it in your
memory as a “happy place”.
I’ve been reflecting a lot about traveling since I’ve gotten
to Croatia. It looks glamorous and at
times can feel like it’s out of a movie, but there is also a lot of discomfort,
stress, and fatigue that comes with traveling.
On the ferry from Bari to Croatia I had a minor panic attack around 3am
as I realized I was in the middle of the ocean, still several hours from land,
and unable to sleep. Thankfully Lisa
helped calm my mind and we talked about our awesome vacation and then I was
fine again. It’s not easy taking yourself
out of your comfort zone when traveling..quite literally, as I tried to
maneuver myself into the fetal position around a very tall and uncomfortable arm
rest, with my beach towel as my pillow, only to get a mere 2 hours of
sleep. You would think that after dragging my 50lb
suitcase around Lecce earlier in the day I would have had no trouble falling
asleep- but to no avail. Lisa and I have
both felt extreme fatigue at certain times during our traveling. Yet we’ve also felt relaxation unlike
anything we’ve ever experienced. For
me, the sacrifice of comfort is 100%
worth it for the experiences we’ve had.
Croatia is giving us a chance to relax on the beach (which is made of
big white rocks), swim in the crystal clear blue salt water, enjoy the
fresh mountainous air, eat amazing seafood, and enjoy the nightlife of Old Town.
The other night when we were in Old Town we were stopped by
someone who was working with a tour company trying to advertise an excursion to
go kayaking. We stopped and talked to
him for a little, and he mentioned that he is from Croatia. He said that because his family is so poor,
he never had the chance to visit Dubrovnik before. He is able to be in Dubrovnik this summer
because he is working with this tourism company. It occurred to me just how privileged I am to
grow up in America. Granted, there are a
lot of things wrong with our country, and there is extreme poverty that exists
that people don’t even know about. But
at any given point an average income family could arrange a vacation to travel
to a different state. This Croatian man was
telling us that he never got to come to Dubrovnik- because it is a tourist city
and pretty expensive. These circumstances exist all over- and I can’t
help but feeling so blessed to be one of the minority of people in the world
who can save and travel for a month.
On that note, Lisa and I are slowly going B-R-O-K-E,
broke. Although there have been some
moments of financial stress, we are reminding ourselves daily that these
experiences cannot have a price tag on them.
I wouldn’t take back any moment I’ve had for money. It’s actually very liberating… to know that
for the past few weeks I’ve been truly
living. Spending money I’ve worked
so hard for…for intangible fleeting memories.
I guess I could have used that money to buy a car, or furniture, jewelry,
or a house. But I do not think any of
those investments would give me the feeling of satisfaction with my life that I
have right now. For the first time in my
life, I feel 100% content. I know that
in just a week’s time I will be returning to the chaos of
teaching/coaching/working. I can only
hope that I can take with a fraction of the tranquility I feel now.
The band just played Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young”. I stopped writing to take in the moment….I
teared up. These are the lyrics I heard...
“When the winds of changes shift, may your heart always be joyful and may your
song always be sung…may you stay forever
young, forever young, forever young”.. just magical.
More pictures to come next blog post...internet is slow so i'm only uploading a couple now...goodnight!
Saturday, August 17, 2013
"Dogs eat food. We have dinner"
It’s about 10am here in Italy and I’m writing this blog post
outside on the terrazza. I’m sitting in
what seems to be complete silence in the town- although I know that’s not true
because there are people walking around the city of Lecce at all hours in the
summer (similar to NYC). As I’m writing
this post I am hearing all of the words I am typing in Italian. I’m pretty sure that the only word to
describe what’s going on in my head right now is immersion. I’ve been
immersed in the culture by the language, food, people, environment, and friends
I’ve met.
For the past week here in Lecce (which ZOOMED by), my brain
has been constantly working to translate what I am hearing and what I am
saying. It is so difficult. Although I still have much more progress to
make, I have reached a new level of speaking/understanding Italian that I feel very proud
of. I’ve been fortunate to spend
everyday this past week with the coolest and nicest people who are so patient
and helpful in me learning. My brain
actually hurts from translating all day long- but I see the progress and it is
the coolest thing ever to witness myself adapting to the culture and beginning
to have genuine conversations with friends I have met. Also, I cannot get the PIZZICA Tarantella song
out of my head!!! We’ve been hearing it nonstop in Lecce, so my brain is pretty
much a mush of Italian words and Pizzica music all day long. Needless to say,
the silence this morning is refreshing and necessary for me. Watch this youtube video for a taste of the
music that we are hearing all day long (WARNING: after listening to this, you
might not ever be able to get it out of your head.)
Another part of immersion in a culture is reflecting on the
way of life that exists. I’ve been
reflecting a lot about the differences between American/Italian culture. Each of these differences has pros and
cons. For example, efficiency. Yesterday, Lisa and I had the incredible opportunity to
visit the most southern tip of Italy, called Santa Maria di Leuca. We went on an excursion to see the caves
(grotte) of this area of the Adriatic.
The water was clear and a beautiful bluish green color..spectacular. Anyways, we arrived at our destination and had
to find our way to the beach. It took us
an hour. Mainly because the directions we
got from people and the signs we tried to read were inaccurate. Also, the boardwalk to the beach is the most
ridiculous layout ever that looks like a huge snake. We couldn’t help laughing hysterically as we
walked along this winding boardwalk that we labeled, “Italian style boardwalk”. In America, obviously the boardwalk would
have gone directly to the beach in a straight line..(makes sense). So, there are differences that exist in
efficiency and functionality that cannot be denied.
On a deeper level, there is a huge difference in the
cultural value of family here. We had a
really long conversation yesterday with our friend Dario who took us on our day
trip to Santa Maria di Leuca. We had
this conversation over some Italian beers alongside the Adriatic (NOT A BAD WAY
TO HAVE A BEER!) We talked about the
importance of spending time with family, and the value of family that exists in
Italy. The most profound thing that was
said during this conversation was by Dario.
We were talking about how in America it is not as common for families to
have dinner together every night. We
talked about how different the concept of “eating” is for Americans. Dario said that while he lived in NYC he
noticed how so many Americans said “let’s eat food, let’s get food, I ate food…etc”. Dario said- “in Italy, we do not use the word food (cibi) to describe what we are eating.
Dogs eat food. We have dinner.”
In Italy and in many other cultures, you do not eat
alone. You are not just eating food, but you are enjoying meals. Your meals are shared with other people
and they are savored. We talked about
the culture in America of eating what’s FAST and EASY. Frozen food. Take out food. Whatever we have
time for. Dario said that eating frozen
food from a box is disgusting to Italians- “what
is different about the box and what’s inside the box? It is all processed…you
might as well just eat the box too”.
Of course I thought this perspective was
hysterical- but it also is very true.
I can’t help but thinking how different our culture would be
if we valued eating meals together with friends and family more. If we took the time to make real food, and
spend time with each other every day/night around the table. There’s been so much research and articles
about the importance of eating dinner every night with family. Yet, we still don’t do it….because, we can’t make
time? I don’t know…it's easier said than done of course..but it's an interesting
thought.
When you travel outside your comfort zone (whether it’s not
knowing the language, places, or culture), you develop a deeper appreciation
for your own culture. You form a
perspective from what you are able to compare and contrast with your own way of
life. I know there is no utopian
society, but I think it’s important to learn from the positives of each
culture. I’ll take back with me these
cultural values of Italy that never fail to inspire and awe me. I know they will continue to better my life
as they always have. Very grateful for it.
These pictures/videos below are of our trip to Santa Maria di Leuca and our excursion in the Adriatic to see the Grotte. Enjoy!
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