How do we respond to tragedy that seems so evil? In paradoxes. Anger and peace, resentment and kindness, actively trying to understand and passively accepting we never will.
Working in an Elementary School has enabled me to experience the reactions of colleagues, administrators, parents, and students. The tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School has impacted us all. We have all cried as we watched the news- thinking of our own students and children. We have all been paralyzed by fear when we hear "lockdown" on the PA system, even as a routine drill. We have been brave when our students ask us with fear in their eyes about gunmen. We have been smart and logical by assessing our school security. We have been complacent in accepting we can only do so much. Most importantly, we have been resilient. We have a new found understanding of just how important it is for every child to feel unconditionally loved. Time and time again we hear on the news that those who open fire on campuses or public places are victims of bullying, loneliness, and low self-esteem. Many times the perpetrator has a disability that hinders him/her from having social relationships with others or academic success. They do not feel love, joy, and success.
We can feel extremely angry about it and want to seek revenge on whoever perpetrated this event. But when we are in our own safe environment, we feel peace and gratitude that our loved ones have not been affected by this tragedy. We can try our hardest to understand why someone would do this..after all, it is our duty to try to assess the broader sociological problem that is creating these scenarios of evil and violence. Yet, likewise it is also our obligation to show up to work everyday and try to "forget about it". We can redesign our school security systems, yet we know that a person's will to create havoc can't be stopped by anything. We can feel hatred towards whoever murdered innocent children. Or we can fill our hearts with kindness towards every single person we meet. Our reactions to such a tragic event are undeniably paradoxical. Sometimes all our emotions and thoughts can be overwhelming.
The scary thought is that none of us have the ability to know someone's deepest darkest thoughts. We do not know if the isolated and belligerent student at school is having suicidal thoughts. We do not know if the rude and angry employee at our grocery store is planning a violent attack. We have to prevent anyone from having such thoughts by being outwardly kind to EVERYONE. One act of kindness can affect numbers of people- even by being a witness to it.
A couple weeks ago I was at a concert and heard the Alternate Routes perform a song called, "Nothing More". The lead singer talked about the meaning of the song before the band played it. The song was created in response to an effort to support the non-profit organization, Newtown Kindness. It brought tears to my eyes as I heard the song. The song itself expresses the same sort of paradox of emotions as I described above. It starts off melancholy and dark, and turns upbeat and light. I felt a sense of autonomy as I listened to the lyrics. We can change the world by how we act everyday. We can all be heroes.
Here are the lyrics below. Listen to the song, "Nothing More" by the Alternate Routes and hum along...cry if you feel like you need to. But don't be afraid to tap your feet...and even smile. We can turn our fears into bravery... our anger into kindness..our love into action.
http://open.spotify.com/track/0mD8Oey9zR0TR8XyiOx3NO
To be humble, to be kind
It is a giving of the peace in your mind
To a stranger, to a friend
To give in such a way that has no end
We are love, we are one,
We are how we treat each other when the day is done
We are peace, we are war
We are how we treat each other and nothing more
To be bold, to be brave
It is the thinking that the heart can still be saved
And the darkness can't come quick
The dangers in the anger and the hanging onto it
We are love, we are one,
We are how we treat each other when the day is done
We are peace, we are war
We are how we treat each other and nothing more
Tell me what it is that you should see
A world that's full of endless possibilities
Heroes don't look like they used to..
They look like you do.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Less is more
Sometimes when we don't have everything we want, we feel like we have nothing. Every therapist out there would probably acknowledge that how we view what we have determines our happiness. "Looking at the glass half full or empty" has the power to affect our everyday lives. But sometimes a situation is what it is, and sometimes that situation is a struggle. I happen to think the more struggles we have to go through, the happier we become. Maybe the less we have to be happy about, the more we will appreciate life. In turn creating true joy.
We've all heard the sarcastic phrase...FWP- First World Problems. I don't think that is fair. "First World Problems" include health, financial, and emotional problems that are real. As I get older the more and more I realize that everyone has these problems, to different extents but still everyone has them. So how do we handle these problems? FWA- First World Answers. We medicate. We don't want to deal with any pain so we do everything we can to force whatever we are dealing with out of our conscious and subconscious thoughts. Maybe there is a better way to deal with FWP.
I was in the doctor's office the other day. It was the day before Thanksgiving and I was feeling really annoyed that I had to even go to the doctor. I held the door for a young man in a wheel chair behind me. We ended up taking the elevator together, and then walking into the same doctor's office. I was in a bad mood and not really interested in making a friend...but this man has made a lasting impression on me and he probably won't ever know it. Now, before I continue let me provide this disclaimer- this was my 4th doctors' visit in a month's time so I believe I had the right to be annoyed that I found myself still sick in the same doctor's office yet again.
Anyways, as I'm sitting there looking over my phone, and waiting to be seen by the doctor, I heard this man in a wheelchair cheerfully talking to the receptionist. He knew the receptionist....clearly, he had been visiting the doctor more than I had. After hearing him talk to her for about a minute I became intrigued with him. While I was pretending to look at my phone, I was focusing on what he was saying to the receptionist- "God will provide...I'll be OK". He then went on to tell her about a conference he was just recently at. He told a story--- the theme of the conference he was at was "Everything happens for a reason...God will provide...". a woman stood up at the conference and said she had cancer, she was struggling financially, and was going through much more. The woman questioned how God was supposedly providing for her. The speaker answered her saying, "I know what you are going through is really hard....and sometimes it feels like you can't get through. But you're treading in deep water. Sometimes you have to swim in deep water for a while until you get your answers." The man in the wheelchair said, obviously I know what that's like.
Sometimes it takes a while to get answers.... and that's okay.
So what do you do until then? Believe that there is a purpose for everything. Keep your head up. Acknowledge the situation you are in. Believe there is a God who will provide for you...somehow, someway, at sometime.
We've all heard the sarcastic phrase...FWP- First World Problems. I don't think that is fair. "First World Problems" include health, financial, and emotional problems that are real. As I get older the more and more I realize that everyone has these problems, to different extents but still everyone has them. So how do we handle these problems? FWA- First World Answers. We medicate. We don't want to deal with any pain so we do everything we can to force whatever we are dealing with out of our conscious and subconscious thoughts. Maybe there is a better way to deal with FWP.
I was in the doctor's office the other day. It was the day before Thanksgiving and I was feeling really annoyed that I had to even go to the doctor. I held the door for a young man in a wheel chair behind me. We ended up taking the elevator together, and then walking into the same doctor's office. I was in a bad mood and not really interested in making a friend...but this man has made a lasting impression on me and he probably won't ever know it. Now, before I continue let me provide this disclaimer- this was my 4th doctors' visit in a month's time so I believe I had the right to be annoyed that I found myself still sick in the same doctor's office yet again.
Anyways, as I'm sitting there looking over my phone, and waiting to be seen by the doctor, I heard this man in a wheelchair cheerfully talking to the receptionist. He knew the receptionist....clearly, he had been visiting the doctor more than I had. After hearing him talk to her for about a minute I became intrigued with him. While I was pretending to look at my phone, I was focusing on what he was saying to the receptionist- "God will provide...I'll be OK". He then went on to tell her about a conference he was just recently at. He told a story--- the theme of the conference he was at was "Everything happens for a reason...God will provide...". a woman stood up at the conference and said she had cancer, she was struggling financially, and was going through much more. The woman questioned how God was supposedly providing for her. The speaker answered her saying, "I know what you are going through is really hard....and sometimes it feels like you can't get through. But you're treading in deep water. Sometimes you have to swim in deep water for a while until you get your answers." The man in the wheelchair said, obviously I know what that's like.
Sometimes it takes a while to get answers.... and that's okay.
So what do you do until then? Believe that there is a purpose for everything. Keep your head up. Acknowledge the situation you are in. Believe there is a God who will provide for you...somehow, someway, at sometime.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Foux-liage
That feeling of needing change...craving novelty..and churning hopes and dreams for the future. A feeling of displacement. Like something doesn't fit right now, but something good is on the horizon. Sometimes it is just downright difficult to live in the moment. While this blog was created as a means of documenting my Italy trip, I think it's meant to be continued. Perhaps the dissection of the little moments of life can happen in a more monotonous and routine way of life. And hopefully you can share in my search to find complete fulfillment by living in the MOMENT. Even when sometimes the moments we are experiencing are less than mediocre...or so they may seem.
People say it all the time..."think positive. It's how you VIEW life. Do you view life as the glass half full or half empty"? I am a big believer in the power of perspective, as many people are. Yet, I also believe in calling a spade a spade. Take fall foliage for example. Foux-liage. The leaves are dying... (glass half empty), but they are undergoing a beautiful change that their spectators are able to enjoy before the dreary winter months. The analogy of Fall as a season of change is not a novel idea. But as I was driving through the beautiful mountains of Pennsylvania a few weeks ago and looking at the gorgeous fall colors, I couldn't help but thinking that if these trees could have thoughts they would be less than pleasant I'm sure. What would they be thinking as they feel their leaves shriveling up..knowing their beautiful ornaments are destined to lose their home on a branch and fall to the ground. Only to leave this tree bare and ugly. This might seem pessimistic and it also might seem slightly crazy that I would even be personifying trees and leaves. But the only reason why we are able to "ooo and ahh" and these beautiful fall leaves is because we know the bigger picture. We know that leaves changing colors and dying is part of the cyclical life cycle of a plant. We know that new leaves will grow on the tree again in the Spring.
The feeling of change is quite uncomfortable. I think it's because we aren't able to see the larger picture. We have no idea what our future will hold. We don't even know what will happen a minute from now let alone years from now. We feel ourselves growing and changing, our leaves changing colors, and we don't know what's coming. Yet, I think we need to embrace the change because let's face it- trying to defy nature has a bleak success rate. A tree may feel sad during this period of change, and let's be real it would probably freak out if it didn't know Spring was to come. People are taking pictures of its beautiful leaves, admiring the beauty of the colors, enjoying the crunching sound of them on the ground, or jumping in piles of them. Yet this tree's leaves are dying and will forever decompose into eternity! Foux-liage at its finest.
The fall season is a good reminder to handle change with the perspective of a human enjoying the change of seasons, rather than a tree experiencing its leaves dying. What you are going through during a period of change is part of the season of life. More good is on the way. Live in the moment...love each exciting, confusing, shattering change that happens in your life.Let what needs to go fall to the ground and make way for beautiful new sprouts to come down the road.
People say it all the time..."think positive. It's how you VIEW life. Do you view life as the glass half full or half empty"? I am a big believer in the power of perspective, as many people are. Yet, I also believe in calling a spade a spade. Take fall foliage for example. Foux-liage. The leaves are dying... (glass half empty), but they are undergoing a beautiful change that their spectators are able to enjoy before the dreary winter months. The analogy of Fall as a season of change is not a novel idea. But as I was driving through the beautiful mountains of Pennsylvania a few weeks ago and looking at the gorgeous fall colors, I couldn't help but thinking that if these trees could have thoughts they would be less than pleasant I'm sure. What would they be thinking as they feel their leaves shriveling up..knowing their beautiful ornaments are destined to lose their home on a branch and fall to the ground. Only to leave this tree bare and ugly. This might seem pessimistic and it also might seem slightly crazy that I would even be personifying trees and leaves. But the only reason why we are able to "ooo and ahh" and these beautiful fall leaves is because we know the bigger picture. We know that leaves changing colors and dying is part of the cyclical life cycle of a plant. We know that new leaves will grow on the tree again in the Spring.
The feeling of change is quite uncomfortable. I think it's because we aren't able to see the larger picture. We have no idea what our future will hold. We don't even know what will happen a minute from now let alone years from now. We feel ourselves growing and changing, our leaves changing colors, and we don't know what's coming. Yet, I think we need to embrace the change because let's face it- trying to defy nature has a bleak success rate. A tree may feel sad during this period of change, and let's be real it would probably freak out if it didn't know Spring was to come. People are taking pictures of its beautiful leaves, admiring the beauty of the colors, enjoying the crunching sound of them on the ground, or jumping in piles of them. Yet this tree's leaves are dying and will forever decompose into eternity! Foux-liage at its finest.
The fall season is a good reminder to handle change with the perspective of a human enjoying the change of seasons, rather than a tree experiencing its leaves dying. What you are going through during a period of change is part of the season of life. More good is on the way. Live in the moment...love each exciting, confusing, shattering change that happens in your life.Let what needs to go fall to the ground and make way for beautiful new sprouts to come down the road.
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