I did it!

It's 9:45pm here.  I just woke up from a 3-4 hour nap and I feel lucid enough to try to type out some of my emotions from today. (or yesterday?)  I have been up for probably the better part of 36 hours without sleep.  Excuse any typos.  As I am typing this,  I am hearing the background noise of Italian movie on TV in the background.  I am sipping on Prosecco which I opened earlier this afternoon to celebrate my new apartment.  I sat at my new dining room table- looking out through my large window at a building which is probably close to 500 years old.  I made a panino for myself with fresh mozzerella, roasted red peppers, and prosciutto crudo.  On wheat bread, of course (have to be healthy- ha!)  My first meal in Rome.  I'm still sipping the leftovers from the bottle of Prosecco I popped before.  Each sip is a reminder of how blessed I am to have had such a smooth arrival in Rome.  I will definitely be displaying the bottle somewhere in my new apartment to symbolize the day I first moved here. 

 

How to describe the overwhelming emotional roller coaster of my move....

I felt like I was in a time warp- like I was invisible and watching everyone around me.  I felt like I had the best kept secret in the airport and on the plane.  Not many people know exactly why I moved to Rome and all that it took to get me here.  And no one needs to know.  But I knew.  I was sitting on the plane and I smirked to myself as I felt the sun shining brightly on me.  The rest of the plane was dark but the sun shone in right on me.  The sun was rising and I happened to be in the exact seat on the plane that was literally blinded by the sunrise for about an hour.  I knew that this move has been something I have been dreaming of for the past year everyday.  I knew that God was looking down on me.  That my Italian relatives were rooting for me.  That I was part of a grand plan unfolding before my eyes. 

When you know you have listened to your heart, reflected and wrestled with what your heart is telling you, and when you finally know you are in the right place doing the right thing...it brings confidence and peace that is inexplicable. It was all worth it.

When I arrived in Rome, I immediately felt at home.  I felt confident speaking Italian and I met people right away who kindly helped me with my luggage and helped me settle in.  There's not much else to say besides the fact that I feel at peace here and I know this is where I am supposed to be.  It is a feeling of overwhelming gratitude and joy.  I am so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends supporting me in this journey.  It certainly was not easy.  The emotional rollercoaster I have been on has been anything but reassuring.  It is a risk moving here---a big risk that it is 100% worth taking since we only have one life to live on this earth.  It was so hard saying goodbye to family and friends, but I felt such a feeling of peace knowing that I have them in my lives whether I am geographically near them or not.

To everyone who has supported me emotionally-- you know who you are.  I am eternally grateful to you.  For helping me gain the courage, confidence, and audacity to move here.  I have learned the enormous power we have over our own perspective and thoughts, that can lead to true joy.  I'm training myself to live in the moment while I am here.

 Here.

 I am strong. 

 I am independent.

 I can do whatever I put my mind to. 

 I am grateful.

 I am joyful.

I am free.

 Here.

Extended anecdote:  I started writing this post at 9:45 but paused for about an hour and a half to fix the pull out couch in my living room that was not folding back up.  After some sweat and some curse words, I did it! ALL BY MYSELF!