It is interesting what we are able to realize in the absence of certain systems, routines, and social interactions.
Since I have been in Italy, I have noticed the absence of many things which I considered an inherent part of my life in America. These things range from Dunkin Donuts coffee to an uptight/stressful ambiance felt at work. I also have experienced the presence of joy in many of the interactions I have had with my students and Italians.
It has been so difficult to pinpoint exactly how the culture is so different here, in Rome, than in New York City/New Jersey but I think there have been a few defining moments that can express these cultural distinctions.
1) The absence of a boss in a suit
-I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I have seen men/women in suits walking with briefcases as "a boss". Actually, I am having trouble thinking of even one instance of this. The presence of a high ranked person in a suit and tie is really an anomaly. In Hoboken, on the contrast, I saw countless men and women in suits rushing to work everyday. In each one of their jobs, the expectation is that their boss would be in an even nicer suit. Here, there does not seem to be a need to impose your position on anyone else by means of attire or stature. The facade of "professionalism" (nice clothes, nice hair cut, nice heels/loafers), is non-existent.
It matters more how you interact with people and how you do your job.
2) The presence of a bar in school
-In the way that the river was a gathering point for Mesopotamia, the school bar is a place for teachers. Not to say that our lives revolve around caffeine fixes, but the school bar is a place for teachers to plan, converse, or occasionally chug an espresso. There is also Sambuca, if your day is particularly rough although I haven't seen anyone indulge in alcohol on my watch.
3) The emotional openness of children
-My students are predominantly Italian. They are passionate. They speak with their hands. They kiss and fight. They yell, and then they make up. They hold hands. They hug. They are very affectionate and emotional. All the stereotypes of Italians have been proven true in just the 2 months I have spent with these kids.
-It has been fascinating to observe the way children interact with each other and with me. At least once or twice a day I have a student coming up to me to give me a hug. Sometimes it is the boys and sometimes it is the girls. Boys hug each other and kiss each other on the cheek. It is cute.
They do not feel the need to maintain a "macho" exterior free of affection and emotions. I read "The Giving Tree" to my class and at the end of my lesson one of my students (who happens to be a great soccer player and relatively "popular"), was almost in tears and said "But the tree is SO KIND". He was so moved by the selfless attitude of the tree. Him and his friends hugged each other. Another example of a child being affectionate is when we had a discussion about the death of a staff member. As I was discussing this delicate situation, I had two of my students
rest their heads in my lap. It was really sweet.
-This next example is a sensitive issue for many---particularly Americans. Bullying. I had a student who asked to share a "show and tell". I said yes, expecting the show and tell to be rather trivial. The student stood in front of the class and said "I am sharing this little toy because my Mom bought it for me because I have been standing up to myself for people who have been making fun of me. It's not very nice for people to make fun of me, and I think these people are doing it because they want to be cool. But I am standing up for myself and I hope that I make friends". You could not hear a pin drop in the classroom. Which is saying a lot, considering my class is composed of 85% Italians. I was TOTALLY in shock...dumbfounded by his maturity and confidence, and heart-broken by his feelings. For a seven year old to stand in front of the class and show such emotional vulnerability. Wow. The kids have been treating this student kindly since.
4) The willingness to accept change
-For some reason in America we have developed this way of functioning on a daily basis that is so deeply embedded in routines, paradigms, and programs. We do not like change.
-The curriculum that my school is currently using is one that is inherently based off change. Each teacher is encouraged to use their personal creativity and identity. The curriculum is evolving--- it changes based off of the students response to each lesson. It changes every semester and every year.
5) The multilingual classroom
-Words cannot explain the challenge of having students who do not speak English in your classroom. I have modified the pace in which I speak so that at all times I am able to communicate with students in the room. Even speaking really slowly does not work. I have to speak in Italian sometimes, or I resort to hand gestures in order to get my point across. What a burden it is for these children to be in a classroom where their teacher is speaking a language that they are not able to really understand. It takes survival instincts for them to be able to function.
Many of my students know 3-4 languages. To them, it is normal. But imbedded in their lives, they have the experience of learning another language and trying their hardest to function affectively amidst a culture that will inevitably change. They develop real world problem- solving skills. Out of necessity.
6) Nightlife
-Hundreds of Italians hanging out, sitting on marble steps in a piazza. Or on cobble stones.. Or maybe leaning against Fiats on the side of the road. They have wine or beer. And surrounding the piazza are several bars that are full of people---the sound of people's voices.
Not a single sound of a DJ blasting the TOP40 hits. What a stark contrast to bars in New Jersey--particularly Hoboken or Morristown. Not that I have anything against these places, because I always have fun when I am with my friends there. But really these bars play music SO LOUD. It is impossible to have a conversation with people. In Rome, people go out IN ORDER to have conversations with each other. So the music would not be turned up so loud at a typical bar.
This past weekend I was out at a bar that was playing Latin American music---a live band. There was a very visibly pregnant woman dancing her heart out. My first thought was ---"why is a pregnant woman out of a bar". It was a moment where I had to stop myself and say..."wait a second...why do you think this is weird?" I thought it was so weird to see because in America we assume that if you are out at a bar you are going to drink. And we think pregnant people quite frankly shouldn't be dancing in a tank top. But this woman was having such a great time dancing with her friends/family.....it was probably so good for her, and for her baby. It was a moment of culture shock. Sad to say. But really, if I was out in Morristown and I saw a pregnant woman dancing in the middle of the dance floor- I would probably be totally shocked. Here, it was no big deal. It was beautiful.
Let the adventures continue.... :)
Monday, October 6, 2014
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
It's all relative
I am sitting in my Roman apartment (across the entire Atlantic Ocean from my home in New Jersey) with an open jar of Nutella right next to me. Next to the jar of Nutella is a glass of wine, freshly poured. I should probably be in bed getting ready to sleep-----it's getting late. Or is it early? It's only10pm. Kind of late? Eh, it's all relative.
I am listening to a song I've recently come obsessed with, from the 1960s movie, "It Started in Naples", starring famous actress Sophia Loren. The song is called, "Stay Here with Me" (Resta Cu'mme), by Paolo Bacilieri. It's an old song, romantic and wistful...it speaks to my heart. I guess it isn't that old...only 50 years or so. I supposed it's quite new actually, compared to ancient music from the Renaissance.
Over the past couple weeks, I have been constantly thinking of the theory of relativity. Normal, right? OK, so my thoughts are abnormal---- eh, it's all relative.
Ever since I was a young girl I remember being obsessed with the idea of a $100 bill and its changing values. Take a $100 bill given as a tip at a diner after breakfast. The sum of money is large, and perhaps superfluous. Or maybe you found a $100 bill on the bottom of a swimming pool. THE LUCK!!! Then you open the newspaper and you see a car advertised for $100-----CHEAP?!?!? It must be a toy car.
Your 30th birthday is next week. You are in a panic---you look at your left hand, bare of a wedding ring. You look enviously are your friends excessive social media posts of engagement/wedding/baby photos. "I'm 30. I'm old. And I haven't accomplished anything my friends have. I am still single". But then, you look at your life and what you have done in your 20s. And you find that you have stories of exuberance and excitement. These stories are priceless. They are TIMELESS. You realize that you are 30 years young, and you have the rest of your life to do what all your friends did in their 20s. You realize that you have traveled more, you have stepped out of your comfort zone more, and you have gained incomparable life experience from being independent and alone. So, you are doing pretty well.
You realize you are fat and ugly. You haven't exercised in quite some time and you have been eating bad. Your face is breaking out, and you just don't feel yourself. But then you turn on a TLC show in which a 700 pound person is being wheeled out of their house because their obesity has crippled them. You look down at yourself, and see only a couple of rolls on your stomach. You are in pretty good shape after all. You'll go to the gym and eat better and in a couple of weeks you'll look as good as new.
You are getting on an airplane. You are about to travel hundreds or thousands of miles away. You are really nervous about the experience of flying--you did just read on the news about that one plane that crashed and was never found. You sit on the plane. You realize that thousands of planes take off and land safely everyday. You remember hearing that statistic that more people die in car crashes then plane crashes. I guess you are pretty safe. The universe is a big place- you are only going a thousand miles. It's nothing. You are just traveling across the ocean, it's not like you are traveling to another galaxy.
You go to the doctors. You haven't been feeling well. You hear that you have a diagnosis that is very bad. You know that you are going to have a life full of medicines and treatments. Yet, you will be able to live. You are okay. You are able to continue to live your life and your dreams---in fact, many people won't ever know that you have a sickness. You are lucky.
You found out that your boyfriend has been lying to you. Cheating on you. You are extremely angry and hurt that someone could be so cruel, so heartless. Then you realize that this boyfriend could have been your husband. You could have had 3 kids, and found out that someone was being unfaithful to you. In fact, you feel extremely grateful for having found out about his lies now when you did. Thank God you are not wasting anymore of your breath and energy on someone who is unworthy of your love.
Depression. Anxiety. Happiness. Excitement. Fear. Peace.
These feelings are simply created from our sixth sense----relativity. Our life is either good or bad, depending on how we look at it. It is about our perspective. Our perspective changes the reality of our life.
So, as I sit here---in my Roman apartment, not far from home at all. I realize I am only a Skype call away from all my loved ones. I had a few spoonful's of Nutella, which were well deserved after my long day at school caring after 7 year olds, preparing and presenting to their parents, and going up and down stairs countless times. I sip on wine that I am only able to enjoy as cheaply and organically as in Italy. I listen to music that was sung by an actress who is only 80 years young, Sophia Loren. I reflect on my life and realize how blessed I am.
For our life is very short- and we only have one chance. So we must live in the moment.....of relativity.
It is all relative...Think about it.
Change your perspective. Let perspective change you.
I am listening to a song I've recently come obsessed with, from the 1960s movie, "It Started in Naples", starring famous actress Sophia Loren. The song is called, "Stay Here with Me" (Resta Cu'mme), by Paolo Bacilieri. It's an old song, romantic and wistful...it speaks to my heart. I guess it isn't that old...only 50 years or so. I supposed it's quite new actually, compared to ancient music from the Renaissance.
Over the past couple weeks, I have been constantly thinking of the theory of relativity. Normal, right? OK, so my thoughts are abnormal---- eh, it's all relative.
Ever since I was a young girl I remember being obsessed with the idea of a $100 bill and its changing values. Take a $100 bill given as a tip at a diner after breakfast. The sum of money is large, and perhaps superfluous. Or maybe you found a $100 bill on the bottom of a swimming pool. THE LUCK!!! Then you open the newspaper and you see a car advertised for $100-----CHEAP?!?!? It must be a toy car.
Your 30th birthday is next week. You are in a panic---you look at your left hand, bare of a wedding ring. You look enviously are your friends excessive social media posts of engagement/wedding/baby photos. "I'm 30. I'm old. And I haven't accomplished anything my friends have. I am still single". But then, you look at your life and what you have done in your 20s. And you find that you have stories of exuberance and excitement. These stories are priceless. They are TIMELESS. You realize that you are 30 years young, and you have the rest of your life to do what all your friends did in their 20s. You realize that you have traveled more, you have stepped out of your comfort zone more, and you have gained incomparable life experience from being independent and alone. So, you are doing pretty well.
You realize you are fat and ugly. You haven't exercised in quite some time and you have been eating bad. Your face is breaking out, and you just don't feel yourself. But then you turn on a TLC show in which a 700 pound person is being wheeled out of their house because their obesity has crippled them. You look down at yourself, and see only a couple of rolls on your stomach. You are in pretty good shape after all. You'll go to the gym and eat better and in a couple of weeks you'll look as good as new.
You are getting on an airplane. You are about to travel hundreds or thousands of miles away. You are really nervous about the experience of flying--you did just read on the news about that one plane that crashed and was never found. You sit on the plane. You realize that thousands of planes take off and land safely everyday. You remember hearing that statistic that more people die in car crashes then plane crashes. I guess you are pretty safe. The universe is a big place- you are only going a thousand miles. It's nothing. You are just traveling across the ocean, it's not like you are traveling to another galaxy.
You go to the doctors. You haven't been feeling well. You hear that you have a diagnosis that is very bad. You know that you are going to have a life full of medicines and treatments. Yet, you will be able to live. You are okay. You are able to continue to live your life and your dreams---in fact, many people won't ever know that you have a sickness. You are lucky.
You found out that your boyfriend has been lying to you. Cheating on you. You are extremely angry and hurt that someone could be so cruel, so heartless. Then you realize that this boyfriend could have been your husband. You could have had 3 kids, and found out that someone was being unfaithful to you. In fact, you feel extremely grateful for having found out about his lies now when you did. Thank God you are not wasting anymore of your breath and energy on someone who is unworthy of your love.
Depression. Anxiety. Happiness. Excitement. Fear. Peace.
These feelings are simply created from our sixth sense----relativity. Our life is either good or bad, depending on how we look at it. It is about our perspective. Our perspective changes the reality of our life.
So, as I sit here---in my Roman apartment, not far from home at all. I realize I am only a Skype call away from all my loved ones. I had a few spoonful's of Nutella, which were well deserved after my long day at school caring after 7 year olds, preparing and presenting to their parents, and going up and down stairs countless times. I sip on wine that I am only able to enjoy as cheaply and organically as in Italy. I listen to music that was sung by an actress who is only 80 years young, Sophia Loren. I reflect on my life and realize how blessed I am.
For our life is very short- and we only have one chance. So we must live in the moment.....of relativity.
It is all relative...Think about it.
Change your perspective. Let perspective change you.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
La Dolce Vita
La Dolce Vita
Guest Blogger: Dominique
Those three words clearly sum up the feelings that I had when I stepped into Newark Airport one week ago to fly to Rome alone. I really could not believe that I was returning to Rome to visit Maria and take part in a small piece of her wonderful adventure. Once I stepped onto the plane, my anxiety disappeared and the excitement/happy feelings took over. I was ready to get to Rome and begin what I knew would be an incredible trip.
Rome is an amazing city that has so much to offer every person. It is truly mind-blowing how this one place seems to hold the history and cultures of several different groups of people. Each day as I walked through the city with Maria, I realized more and more how this place is one that channels a deep stream of past events that have helped to shape the modern world. These feelings that I experienced as I walked the quaint Roman streets full of Vespa's and 'toy' cars were realizations that I was not surprised by. Living in Rome for two months almost four years ago prepared me for the feeling of wonderment I felt as I took each step throughout the city of Rome. Although I was familiar with each feeling, the beauty of Rome still took my breath away.
I cannot explain in words how beautiful this city and the country of Italy is. It is a type of beauty that stops you in your steps and forces you to look around and appreciate the world that we live in. Every person here is warm (except for the gypsies) and wants to help every visitor see the gifts that Rome has to offer. Like every city, you must remove the rose-colored glasses and realize that there are people within this historic oasis that want to rip you off. Even with that risk, to me, Rome is perfect.
During this trip, I have been extremely fortunate to experience things that most individuals dream about. Learning to make home-made pasta in a Tuscan home that is over 1,000 years old, wine-tasting fine Italian wine with the Tuscan breeze kissing my neck, and roaming around a foreign city in order to find its hidden treasures that only true Romans know about. Each day was full of excursions that resulted in the formation of life-long memories. I am thankful for each new experience and memory I have made and cannot help but feeling blessed to have such a wonderful experience along side one of my best friends.
I'd have to say, the one thing I may change about Rome in the summer is the un-godly heat. Let's just say, I have been covered in a heat rash for the last 4 days but that has not stopped me from loving and appreciating each moment in this city. As I have discovered, Rome is not for the weak or faint of heart.
As I sit here on my last full day in the city that I love, my first two feelings have faded and I am left with a feeling of pure happiness. Yes, I am sad to leave this amazing place, but I cannot help but realize how this week has been one out of my dreams. For that reason, I cherish each memory I have made here and have an overall feeling of happiness as I prepare to head home to the people I love. I once read the quote, "travel is the only thing in this world that you buy that makes you rich." It was something that stopped me in my tracks. Travel is the only thing that we can buy that makes us a better, more well-rounded, individual. So I urge you all, travel. Even if you do not have the means, drive somewhere new (near or far) and open your mind to a place that sheds light on the beauty of difference. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable in a new place. It is in that moment when you will be able to see the world through the eyes of another and find a piece of "La Dolce Vita", The Sweet Life.
To Maria, you will do wonderfully here. You are strong and can do this. What you are doing, takes courage (and a male body part lol)- you, figuratively, have both!! Remember the feeling of home as you walk down the streets of Trastevere and our rules for Roma when you are feeling homesick. And when in doubt, go left ; )
Friday, August 15, 2014
Tuscan Heaven
Picture this: Eating lunch in a medieval Tuscan farmhouse, in a well-decorated kitchen around a long rectangular farm table, looking out the big windows seeing rolling Tuscan hills, watching the curtains move as a cool breeze enters the room....Eating homemade focaccia, fritatta, bread salad---for starters. Followed by homemade ravioli with olive oil and freshly grated parmesan cheese, homemade tagliatelle pasta with San Marzano tomatoes, spicy peppers, sage, and parmesan cheese. Hearing "That's Amore" playing softly from the room next door.
Tuscan Heaven.
Rewind 8 hours to the beginning of our day. Dominique and I waited outside a cafe in Florence for our tour van to arrive. We didn't know what we would be expecting for the day- other than the fact that we were going on a wine tour and cooking class. We drove in the car with four other people who were so friendly and just as excited as we were. There were good vibes from the start. Our tour guide, Steve, made us all feel comfortable and welcome.
We drove through the hills 30 minutes outside of Florence and found ourselves in the beautiful country. As we took pictures through the van windows, we felt in awe of the beauty we were seeing. We saw abundant olive and grape trees. It was slightly overcast, but still so perfect and picturesque. We arrived at the 15th century medieval Villa Grignano. My first thought was, "I want this". Obviously knowing this grand estate was unattainable, I laughed as I thought about how much of a fantasy world I felt like I was in. We were being transported into a somewhat celestial environment---where we all must've been dreaming all day of how amazing it would be to actually own a piece of property like the one we saw. The villa overlooked acres of olive trees and grape trees. Steve showed us step by step how all of the Grignano wines are made, and how olive oil is made. He took us through the part of the villa that is the factory- it was amazing to imagine millions of grapes or olives going through these machines.
After our very informative and inspiring tour, it was time to taste the wines. The wines we tasted were paired with a local Tuscan bread- made without salt. Steve doused the bread in homemade olive oil for us. The taste was---heavenly. We tried six different wines. My favorite was the Grand Reserves Chianti Rufina- made from the finest grape on the vineyard.
At this point, we were all feeling like we were officially in a different world. Feeling buzzed from the wine tasting, reflecting on all that we had learned and seen from the morning, and looking at the view of Tuscany from the high hill that we were on.
Little did we know that the best part of the day was to come. Steve drove us to 1,000 year old farm house. We drove to the medieval house that was located on the top of a Tuscan hill- surrounded by hundreds of olive trees, green grass, trees, flowers. We arrived in our white tour bus, driving slowly up the winding gravel driveway. As we got out of the van, we saw the incredible views of the hills around us. We looked at the property of the Belli family and were in awe of the rustic, picturesque, scene we were walking through. It looked like we were on the tallest hill around us.
We were greeted by the friendly owners of the home. They spoke English well. The man, Giovanni, looked like he was out of an old Italian film. He was proudly wearing his cargo shorts and boots---he was in the army for many years. He grew up in the house that we were looking at. He was aged- probably in his 70s. Yet he looked strong, and happy. He had dark olive skin and thick wrinkles on his face. He was in shape, and his personality was clearly younger than his physical age. His wife, Anna, was also a character I felt like was out of a book. She was hospitable and peaceful. She also spoke English well.
We had our cooking class with Steve in the cement basement of their house, which we accessed through a door on the side of the house. It looked like it was made for cooking classes. We all took our place around a large table that had a typical looking Italian plastic table cloth on it, designed for cooking pasta. Steve led us through the process of making homemade ravioli and homemade tagliatelle. We must've been cooking for about 2 hours but it felt like 15 minutes. Steve put on traditional Italian folk music that created an environment of fun and creativity, as we intricately folded our ravioli and ran the dough through the pasta machine. Steve, a professional musician, sang along to some of the songs and humbly showed us his opera voice. As I looked around the room seeing all of us with our aprons on, and homemade pasta in the middle of the table, I thought to myself----this is an experience I will never forget.
We went back upstairs to the kitchen to reap the rewards of all our hard work laboring over the homemade pasta. And now we are back to the beginning.....in the kitchen, with the breeze flowing into the kitchen across the room, and soft sound of Frank Sinatra and other Italian classics coming from the CD player in the room next to us. All of us were in awe of the seemingly endless food that Anna kept providing us. We watched Anna as she cycled through the process of cooking, serving, eating. She ate standing as she knew she had little time before she had to start on the next course. She talked about her life and made herself vulnerable to us. We learned about her and Giovanni's recent wedding and we all congratulated them. They were together for 20 years before they got married. They showed us pictures from their day- and the love and joy that was written on their faces in the picture was unmatchable. It was the real deal. Giovanni and Anna were a beautiful couple, and it was so apparent their love ran deep.
When we said our goodbyes to the family, and we got back in the tour bus, we all were exhausted. It took me a few days to really process the priceless day trip. Dominique said to me, "Do you feel like that farmhouse in Tuscany is like heaven?"....I answered, "Yes". Obviously not knowing for sure what heaven is---- it was probably one of the closest times I've felt to it. The joy of meeting new people, seeing new places, sitting around a table and enjoying life, love, and good food.
Tuscan Heaven.
Rewind 8 hours to the beginning of our day. Dominique and I waited outside a cafe in Florence for our tour van to arrive. We didn't know what we would be expecting for the day- other than the fact that we were going on a wine tour and cooking class. We drove in the car with four other people who were so friendly and just as excited as we were. There were good vibes from the start. Our tour guide, Steve, made us all feel comfortable and welcome.
We drove through the hills 30 minutes outside of Florence and found ourselves in the beautiful country. As we took pictures through the van windows, we felt in awe of the beauty we were seeing. We saw abundant olive and grape trees. It was slightly overcast, but still so perfect and picturesque. We arrived at the 15th century medieval Villa Grignano. My first thought was, "I want this". Obviously knowing this grand estate was unattainable, I laughed as I thought about how much of a fantasy world I felt like I was in. We were being transported into a somewhat celestial environment---where we all must've been dreaming all day of how amazing it would be to actually own a piece of property like the one we saw. The villa overlooked acres of olive trees and grape trees. Steve showed us step by step how all of the Grignano wines are made, and how olive oil is made. He took us through the part of the villa that is the factory- it was amazing to imagine millions of grapes or olives going through these machines.
After our very informative and inspiring tour, it was time to taste the wines. The wines we tasted were paired with a local Tuscan bread- made without salt. Steve doused the bread in homemade olive oil for us. The taste was---heavenly. We tried six different wines. My favorite was the Grand Reserves Chianti Rufina- made from the finest grape on the vineyard.
At this point, we were all feeling like we were officially in a different world. Feeling buzzed from the wine tasting, reflecting on all that we had learned and seen from the morning, and looking at the view of Tuscany from the high hill that we were on.
Little did we know that the best part of the day was to come. Steve drove us to 1,000 year old farm house. We drove to the medieval house that was located on the top of a Tuscan hill- surrounded by hundreds of olive trees, green grass, trees, flowers. We arrived in our white tour bus, driving slowly up the winding gravel driveway. As we got out of the van, we saw the incredible views of the hills around us. We looked at the property of the Belli family and were in awe of the rustic, picturesque, scene we were walking through. It looked like we were on the tallest hill around us.
We were greeted by the friendly owners of the home. They spoke English well. The man, Giovanni, looked like he was out of an old Italian film. He was proudly wearing his cargo shorts and boots---he was in the army for many years. He grew up in the house that we were looking at. He was aged- probably in his 70s. Yet he looked strong, and happy. He had dark olive skin and thick wrinkles on his face. He was in shape, and his personality was clearly younger than his physical age. His wife, Anna, was also a character I felt like was out of a book. She was hospitable and peaceful. She also spoke English well.
We had our cooking class with Steve in the cement basement of their house, which we accessed through a door on the side of the house. It looked like it was made for cooking classes. We all took our place around a large table that had a typical looking Italian plastic table cloth on it, designed for cooking pasta. Steve led us through the process of making homemade ravioli and homemade tagliatelle. We must've been cooking for about 2 hours but it felt like 15 minutes. Steve put on traditional Italian folk music that created an environment of fun and creativity, as we intricately folded our ravioli and ran the dough through the pasta machine. Steve, a professional musician, sang along to some of the songs and humbly showed us his opera voice. As I looked around the room seeing all of us with our aprons on, and homemade pasta in the middle of the table, I thought to myself----this is an experience I will never forget.
We went back upstairs to the kitchen to reap the rewards of all our hard work laboring over the homemade pasta. And now we are back to the beginning.....in the kitchen, with the breeze flowing into the kitchen across the room, and soft sound of Frank Sinatra and other Italian classics coming from the CD player in the room next to us. All of us were in awe of the seemingly endless food that Anna kept providing us. We watched Anna as she cycled through the process of cooking, serving, eating. She ate standing as she knew she had little time before she had to start on the next course. She talked about her life and made herself vulnerable to us. We learned about her and Giovanni's recent wedding and we all congratulated them. They were together for 20 years before they got married. They showed us pictures from their day- and the love and joy that was written on their faces in the picture was unmatchable. It was the real deal. Giovanni and Anna were a beautiful couple, and it was so apparent their love ran deep.
When we said our goodbyes to the family, and we got back in the tour bus, we all were exhausted. It took me a few days to really process the priceless day trip. Dominique said to me, "Do you feel like that farmhouse in Tuscany is like heaven?"....I answered, "Yes". Obviously not knowing for sure what heaven is---- it was probably one of the closest times I've felt to it. The joy of meeting new people, seeing new places, sitting around a table and enjoying life, love, and good food.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Three Words
One of my best friends, Steph Palla, asked me a thought provoking question. Actually...it was a demand. Verbatim: "Give me three words to sum up your past week". I must comply and attempt to answer.
It is not easy to process this past week. It feels like I have been here at least a month already. In order to sort through my emotions and experiences, as well as answer the question Steph asked me, I will summarize my first week in Rome with 3 words.
#1: Energizing
Since I have been in Italy, I have felt constant adrenaline. To the point where I have trouble sleeping at night because I am so excited about my life. That is some problem to have, huh? I am energized by the city of Rome. Energized by spontaneous plans I have been making. My people I have been meeting. I am energized by new places I have seen.
I have had the opportunity to see some family (my sister Catherine's in-laws), and some friends. I went to my friend's family house in Monteforte, Cilento. It was a beautiful experience that was an authentic Italian experience. My days there consisted of multi-course homemade meals and a town feast- complete with a procession, fireworks, folk music, and a raffled off ham.
It was such a beautiful trip to take. When I came back to Rome, I felt like I was home. I have not even been here for a week, but somehow I feel settled here.
#2 Empowering
I didn't know how my first week here would go. In fact, I had a panic attack about it a couple months ago that my mom and sister had to talk me through. I thought I would be lonely, or maybe I would be unsafe in a foreign country. I was worried I would feel so far away from home. I was worried of all the things that could go wrong. I had severe anxiety over this trip- and at one point I even doubted it.
I have been on a long journey the past two months that has led me to a point of feeling tranquility, confidence, and excitement. I have learned how easy it is to let fear hold us back from our dreams. On the contrary, it is also possible to put your fears aside and achieve your dreams.
I would not have been able to do this alone. My friends, family, and mentors have been such a big support to me. They have helped me get to where I am now. I feel empowered. I am traveling. Meeting people. Seeing new things. While at the same time, trying to continue following my daily routines I did at home. I'm finding a balance between it all. It is not the easiest thing, but I am proud of myself. I'm proud of myself for having such a positive and adventurous attitude, while remaining practical and safe. And at the end of the day---living in Rome is really not that different from living in Hoboken/NYC. Before I jinx myself, I'm going to get started on word #3.
#3. Gratitude (Wish I could think of an "E" word to complete the trio)
I have been thanking God every single day. I can't really describe how I know it, but I am sure that I am following the plan that has been designed for me. I am meant to be here. I absolutely love this country, and this city. It is a little scary actually- because I am scared that at some point on my trip I will feel less enthusiastic than I do now. But I do not think that will happen- I think I will continue loving Italy with each changing season.
I have also felt an enormous gratitude for my family and friends who I love so much. I feel so confident in myself knowing that I have such support at home.
In a weird way, I'm grateful for all the crap I went through this year. It was not an easy year. It was one of the hardest years of my life. Yet, look where it led me. It led me to the boldness that I needed in order to follow through on my decision to move here.
I have a very strong appreciation for life. I know life is short. I know life can be very miserable sometimes---sometimes, even unbearable. I know that it is such a difficult ride. Yet, I am experiencing such ease right now. It's not hard to be happy, joyful, and excited here. I have followed my dreams----I have worked so hard-----I have listened to my heart------I have stepped out of my comfort zone.
I am so grateful that I decided to do this----that I didn't let fear stop me from going where I know my heart was leading me. So thank you, LIFE. Thank you, God. Thank you, family and friends. Thank you, Rome.
Grazie, Roma.
Addendum:
#4. Mozzarella di Bufala
#5. Lazio Red Wine
#6. Visitors
#7. Decorating the apartment
#8. Ray Bans
#9. Speaking Italian
#10. Wi-Fi
It is not easy to process this past week. It feels like I have been here at least a month already. In order to sort through my emotions and experiences, as well as answer the question Steph asked me, I will summarize my first week in Rome with 3 words.
#1: Energizing
Since I have been in Italy, I have felt constant adrenaline. To the point where I have trouble sleeping at night because I am so excited about my life. That is some problem to have, huh? I am energized by the city of Rome. Energized by spontaneous plans I have been making. My people I have been meeting. I am energized by new places I have seen.
I have had the opportunity to see some family (my sister Catherine's in-laws), and some friends. I went to my friend's family house in Monteforte, Cilento. It was a beautiful experience that was an authentic Italian experience. My days there consisted of multi-course homemade meals and a town feast- complete with a procession, fireworks, folk music, and a raffled off ham.
It was such a beautiful trip to take. When I came back to Rome, I felt like I was home. I have not even been here for a week, but somehow I feel settled here.
My writing chair
Beautiful view of Monteforte
Great meeting up with the Jones's!
The feast for San Domato. Procession in the town, followed by fireworks, food, dancing, etc.
Paestum- Ancient Greek ruins almost 3,000 years old
#2 Empowering
I didn't know how my first week here would go. In fact, I had a panic attack about it a couple months ago that my mom and sister had to talk me through. I thought I would be lonely, or maybe I would be unsafe in a foreign country. I was worried I would feel so far away from home. I was worried of all the things that could go wrong. I had severe anxiety over this trip- and at one point I even doubted it.
I have been on a long journey the past two months that has led me to a point of feeling tranquility, confidence, and excitement. I have learned how easy it is to let fear hold us back from our dreams. On the contrary, it is also possible to put your fears aside and achieve your dreams.
I would not have been able to do this alone. My friends, family, and mentors have been such a big support to me. They have helped me get to where I am now. I feel empowered. I am traveling. Meeting people. Seeing new things. While at the same time, trying to continue following my daily routines I did at home. I'm finding a balance between it all. It is not the easiest thing, but I am proud of myself. I'm proud of myself for having such a positive and adventurous attitude, while remaining practical and safe. And at the end of the day---living in Rome is really not that different from living in Hoboken/NYC. Before I jinx myself, I'm going to get started on word #3.
#3. Gratitude (Wish I could think of an "E" word to complete the trio)
I have been thanking God every single day. I can't really describe how I know it, but I am sure that I am following the plan that has been designed for me. I am meant to be here. I absolutely love this country, and this city. It is a little scary actually- because I am scared that at some point on my trip I will feel less enthusiastic than I do now. But I do not think that will happen- I think I will continue loving Italy with each changing season.
I have also felt an enormous gratitude for my family and friends who I love so much. I feel so confident in myself knowing that I have such support at home.
In a weird way, I'm grateful for all the crap I went through this year. It was not an easy year. It was one of the hardest years of my life. Yet, look where it led me. It led me to the boldness that I needed in order to follow through on my decision to move here.
I have a very strong appreciation for life. I know life is short. I know life can be very miserable sometimes---sometimes, even unbearable. I know that it is such a difficult ride. Yet, I am experiencing such ease right now. It's not hard to be happy, joyful, and excited here. I have followed my dreams----I have worked so hard-----I have listened to my heart------I have stepped out of my comfort zone.
I am so grateful that I decided to do this----that I didn't let fear stop me from going where I know my heart was leading me. So thank you, LIFE. Thank you, God. Thank you, family and friends. Thank you, Rome.
Grazie, Roma.
Addendum:
#4. Mozzarella di Bufala
#5. Lazio Red Wine
#6. Visitors
#7. Decorating the apartment
#8. Ray Bans
#9. Speaking Italian
#10. Wi-Fi
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
I did it!
It's 9:45pm here. I just woke up from a 3-4 hour nap and I feel lucid enough to try to type out some of my emotions from today. (or yesterday?) I have been up for probably the better part of 36 hours without sleep. Excuse any typos. As I am typing this, I am hearing the background noise of Italian movie on TV in the background. I am sipping on Prosecco which I opened earlier this afternoon to celebrate my new apartment. I sat at my new dining room table- looking out through my large window at a building which is probably close to 500 years old. I made a panino for myself with fresh mozzerella, roasted red peppers, and prosciutto crudo. On wheat bread, of course (have to be healthy- ha!) My first meal in Rome. I'm still sipping the leftovers from the bottle of Prosecco I popped before. Each sip is a reminder of how blessed I am to have had such a smooth arrival in Rome. I will definitely be displaying the bottle somewhere in my new apartment to symbolize the day I first moved here.
How to describe the overwhelming emotional roller coaster of my move....
I felt like I was in a time warp- like I was invisible and watching everyone around me. I felt like I had the best kept secret in the airport and on the plane. Not many people know exactly why I moved to Rome and all that it took to get me here. And no one needs to know. But I knew. I was sitting on the plane and I smirked to myself as I felt the sun shining brightly on me. The rest of the plane was dark but the sun shone in right on me. The sun was rising and I happened to be in the exact seat on the plane that was literally blinded by the sunrise for about an hour. I knew that this move has been something I have been dreaming of for the past year everyday. I knew that God was looking down on me. That my Italian relatives were rooting for me. That I was part of a grand plan unfolding before my eyes.
When you know you have listened to your heart, reflected and wrestled with what your heart is telling you, and when you finally know you are in the right place doing the right thing...it brings confidence and peace that is inexplicable. It was all worth it.
When I arrived in Rome, I immediately felt at home. I felt confident speaking Italian and I met people right away who kindly helped me with my luggage and helped me settle in. There's not much else to say besides the fact that I feel at peace here and I know this is where I am supposed to be. It is a feeling of overwhelming gratitude and joy. I am so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends supporting me in this journey. It certainly was not easy. The emotional rollercoaster I have been on has been anything but reassuring. It is a risk moving here---a big risk that it is 100% worth taking since we only have one life to live on this earth. It was so hard saying goodbye to family and friends, but I felt such a feeling of peace knowing that I have them in my lives whether I am geographically near them or not.
To everyone who has supported me emotionally-- you know who you are. I am eternally grateful to you. For helping me gain the courage, confidence, and audacity to move here. I have learned the enormous power we have over our own perspective and thoughts, that can lead to true joy. I'm training myself to live in the moment while I am here.
Extended anecdote: I started writing this post at 9:45 but paused for about an hour and a half to fix the pull out couch in my living room that was not folding back up. After some sweat and some curse words, I did it! ALL BY MYSELF!
I felt like I was in a time warp- like I was invisible and watching everyone around me. I felt like I had the best kept secret in the airport and on the plane. Not many people know exactly why I moved to Rome and all that it took to get me here. And no one needs to know. But I knew. I was sitting on the plane and I smirked to myself as I felt the sun shining brightly on me. The rest of the plane was dark but the sun shone in right on me. The sun was rising and I happened to be in the exact seat on the plane that was literally blinded by the sunrise for about an hour. I knew that this move has been something I have been dreaming of for the past year everyday. I knew that God was looking down on me. That my Italian relatives were rooting for me. That I was part of a grand plan unfolding before my eyes.
When you know you have listened to your heart, reflected and wrestled with what your heart is telling you, and when you finally know you are in the right place doing the right thing...it brings confidence and peace that is inexplicable. It was all worth it.
When I arrived in Rome, I immediately felt at home. I felt confident speaking Italian and I met people right away who kindly helped me with my luggage and helped me settle in. There's not much else to say besides the fact that I feel at peace here and I know this is where I am supposed to be. It is a feeling of overwhelming gratitude and joy. I am so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends supporting me in this journey. It certainly was not easy. The emotional rollercoaster I have been on has been anything but reassuring. It is a risk moving here---a big risk that it is 100% worth taking since we only have one life to live on this earth. It was so hard saying goodbye to family and friends, but I felt such a feeling of peace knowing that I have them in my lives whether I am geographically near them or not.
To everyone who has supported me emotionally-- you know who you are. I am eternally grateful to you. For helping me gain the courage, confidence, and audacity to move here. I have learned the enormous power we have over our own perspective and thoughts, that can lead to true joy. I'm training myself to live in the moment while I am here.
Here.
I am strong.
I am independent.
I can do whatever I put my mind to.
I am grateful.
I am joyful.
I am free.
Here.
Extended anecdote: I started writing this post at 9:45 but paused for about an hour and a half to fix the pull out couch in my living room that was not folding back up. After some sweat and some curse words, I did it! ALL BY MYSELF!
Monday, August 4, 2014
Home is where.....
To say this past week has been emotional is an understatement.
CHANGE.
It is the last night that I am sleeping in the house I was raised in. I have never moved before. I was brought home to this house as an infant. I had my temper tantrums as a toddler here. Playing "church" in our basement. Easter egg hunts. Christmas carols around the piano. Piano lessons- Catherine's practicing. The spanking game. Building forts in the living room and basement. Field hockey in the backyard. Our epic treehouse. Basketball games in the driveway. In middle school, I remember gossiping with girlfriends about who our crushes were. AIM conversations. Kickboxing and yoga DVDs. I spent hours on the phone with boyfriends- whispering so my parents couldn't hear our conversation. Late nights doing homework, after returning from 12 hour days of high school/sports. I came home every break in college to this house. I lived here after college for a few years to save money. Almost every single night that I have lived in this house, my mom has made a home-cooked meal. I have had a table to sit around with my family. A table that expanded from 7 to 20 on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
It is in Maslow's hierarchy of needs that we feel safety and security--- secure in our health, our family, our relationships, our job, our resources, our home. I am so blessed to have such incredible family and friends that I can depend on. They make me feel home because they have been through so much with me. They have seen me in my lowest lows, and my highest highs.
Catherine, Teresa, Paul, and David-----my siblings who I love and cherish more than anything. We all grew up here and went through everything together.
CHANGE.
I am starting an adventure of a lifetime. I have the incredible opportunity to move my life to a foreign country. Not many people have that chance, and I am beyond grateful for it. I am very excited, but I am also scared. Scared of leaving the place I've called home for so long- New Jersey.
The cliché saying, "home is where the heart is", means so much to me now. I am stripping away the physical home that I identify myself through. I also have purged through my belongings and I have decided to take with me only what I know I will need (6 suitcases later). I am not a minimalist, although I admire those who are. I have thrown out many items of "junk" that I know can not be used. I have given away many clothes I know I do not need. I have looked through every item from my childhood that I saved as memorabilia. I have decided which I would like to hold onto in storage for the year.
CHANGE.
So I am saying goodbye to my house. My last night sleep here. I am saying hello to my home....where my heart is. I am bringing all the love and joy of the people I am surrounded with. I am even bringing my baggage. My memories. My heart. I'm bringing my home to Rome.
CHANGE.
It is the last night that I am sleeping in the house I was raised in. I have never moved before. I was brought home to this house as an infant. I had my temper tantrums as a toddler here. Playing "church" in our basement. Easter egg hunts. Christmas carols around the piano. Piano lessons- Catherine's practicing. The spanking game. Building forts in the living room and basement. Field hockey in the backyard. Our epic treehouse. Basketball games in the driveway. In middle school, I remember gossiping with girlfriends about who our crushes were. AIM conversations. Kickboxing and yoga DVDs. I spent hours on the phone with boyfriends- whispering so my parents couldn't hear our conversation. Late nights doing homework, after returning from 12 hour days of high school/sports. I came home every break in college to this house. I lived here after college for a few years to save money. Almost every single night that I have lived in this house, my mom has made a home-cooked meal. I have had a table to sit around with my family. A table that expanded from 7 to 20 on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
It is in Maslow's hierarchy of needs that we feel safety and security--- secure in our health, our family, our relationships, our job, our resources, our home. I am so blessed to have such incredible family and friends that I can depend on. They make me feel home because they have been through so much with me. They have seen me in my lowest lows, and my highest highs.
Catherine, Teresa, Paul, and David-----my siblings who I love and cherish more than anything. We all grew up here and went through everything together.
CHANGE.
I am starting an adventure of a lifetime. I have the incredible opportunity to move my life to a foreign country. Not many people have that chance, and I am beyond grateful for it. I am very excited, but I am also scared. Scared of leaving the place I've called home for so long- New Jersey.
The cliché saying, "home is where the heart is", means so much to me now. I am stripping away the physical home that I identify myself through. I also have purged through my belongings and I have decided to take with me only what I know I will need (6 suitcases later). I am not a minimalist, although I admire those who are. I have thrown out many items of "junk" that I know can not be used. I have given away many clothes I know I do not need. I have looked through every item from my childhood that I saved as memorabilia. I have decided which I would like to hold onto in storage for the year.
CHANGE.
So I am saying goodbye to my house. My last night sleep here. I am saying hello to my home....where my heart is. I am bringing all the love and joy of the people I am surrounded with. I am even bringing my baggage. My memories. My heart. I'm bringing my home to Rome.
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